A confession. I used to think that coaching was something you could get for free from any good friend. It turns out it’s not that simple. A kind ear with some friendly advice can be very helpful and often all we need. But it is not the same as coaching.
What specifically can a good coach do for you?
First and foremost, a coach provides a safe, non-judgmental space where you can express your thoughts on an aspect of your personal or professional life that is bothering you. All elements of this sentence are important.
- When we feel safe, we are more inclined to show our vulnerability and express what is really troubling us.
- A coach is not going to judge you. He or she listens and asks pertinent questions so that you can work out for yourself the action(s) you decide to take that will move you forward.
- When do we really give ourselves the time to think…about ourselves? How can we hope to solve problems and challenges if we don’t take a step back and think? I mean really think.
A coach can help bring clarity. For example, a client may think that they are struggling to put in the necessary time to revise for a professional exam. “If only I could find more time, then I would be okay”. A coach asking the right questions might discover, as I have often done, that it’s not a question of time. The real issue is one of taking a disciplined approach e.g. making a revision plan, and/or controlling one’s anxiety. Before you can move forward, you need to identify what is really holding you back. A good coach will help you do this.
Another common issue is that nagging feeling that we are just not good enough. We’ve faked it so far, but now we are about to be exposed. This is commonly referred to as Imposter Syndrome. A good coach will help you paint a more realistic picture. More often than not, this is one that includes some truly fantastic achievements that have got us to where we are today and provide the platform for us to be somewhere else tomorrow. Fear of what might lie ahead has just shut all of these out of our current thinking. A good coach will help you appreciate your strengths and achievements and encourage you to avoid dwelling on the negative ‘what ifs’, that drag you down and/or make you freeze.
A coach will also hold you accountable. What does this mean? To move forward you need to take action. If we want a different result, we need to try one or two new things or do one or two things differently. A coach helps you work these out and then helps you to analyse how these are working for you. The ability of a coach to ask the right questions is one of the strongest illustrations of the difference between what they do and what the friend in the pub does. A good coach provides not only encouragement but also honest feedback. It’s the combination of support and challenge that helps you learn and grow.
Chemistry
Some coaches will argue that what they do is professional practice and that personal chemistry has nothing to do with how well a client works with a coach. I wouldn’t argue with this, but merely observe as with all professional relationships, sometimes it clicks and sometimes it doesn’t. To find the right coach for you, I always encourage the use of referrals from trusted colleagues or friends. Testimonials (see below!) can also be useful, as well as any specialisms that a coach might have.
Areas of coaching
In professional contexts, coaching can improve leadership skills, communication, and decision-making. In personal development, it can help overcome prevarication, foster confidence, resilience, and a greater sense of purpose. I coach in all these areas. Regarding specialisms, I have considerable experience of helping people get through professional exams.
Whether you’re navigating a career change, building a business, pursuing a particular challenge or seeking a greater life balance, a 1:1 coach is a partner that can help you get where you want to be.
Kind words from clients
- I can’t thank you enough for your help and valuable advice. I have found the sessions a comfort zone where I can express myself freely and get the advice needed in a professionally sympathetic way.
- Quick message to say that I finally passed the exam! Thanks again for all your advice and support without which I wouldn’t have made it through.
- Just wanted to send you an email to let you know that I passed my exam. Really appreciate the time and support you gave me, I found it really useful. The small changes can make a big difference, and those marginal gains helped. Will use a lot of what we talked about and techniques to help with the next and final exam.
Thanks again for your help it was a great boost and a new focus when I needed it. - Thank you so much for helping me through our coaching sessions to help me to be better organised at a critical time and to have the mental capability to keep going after not passing the first time around. It was really difficult for me since January as I mentioned to you, I was feeling the weight of the world and you really helped me to overcome that feeling.
If you’d like to find out more about my coaching, drop me a line nick@awaken-comms.co.uk